Updated: Jan 26
As I kept on meditating on this topic of chronic victimhood
these past weeks, I started to notice how OFTEN I actually have moments that I feel like a victim.
"Can you see why it’s so profound? Or do you think it’s so simple that you don’t know why someone even bothers to make a video about it? The universe communicates with us in everyday language. As Caroline Myss says “God doesn’t show off.” I know that my level of consciousness is climbing up when I take the biggest message in a moment like this one."
As I kept on meditating on this topic of chronic victimhood
these past weeks, I started to notice how OFTEN I actually have moments that I feel
"sorry" for myself, like a victim.
Actually it wasn’t even a “feeling” sorry or the familiar inner voice
It was literally like a tick. Like a nano-second buzz in super speed electricity.
And I realized that I was experiencing it much much more often than I had previously realized.
One day, I caught myself that I was unable to be GENEROUS enough for others BECAUSE I felt the tick. And he more I started to pay attention, the more I was truly shocked by the frequency of those victim TICKS
For instance the other day, my husband, he is a surfer,
"I’m planning a weekend trip to this surf film event and said “i’m craving some surf culture”
My immediate response was,
I DID NOT RESPOND.
I REACTED. Because it was the same TICK again, the victim tick.
And so instead of genuinely feeling excited for him and wondering what a great time he would have,
my REACTION was
“Oh yah? I know how that feels. because I’ve been craving ART culture myself for a decade.”
I thought I was above this, guys. I thought those days were OVER.
Yah… yes yes I did.
I mean, I worked on this stuff, right?
I even made a video about "time traveling" to work on my own “traumatic experiences of victimhood”, and getting rid of my chronic pains associated with them.
But interestingly, as I focused on this topic of victimhood for a YouTube video I was making, It was as if everything suddenly came back.
I kept catching myself with those ticks. I heard the “poor ME” voice over occasionally accompanied by contracting and shrinking uncomfortable tightness in jaws and slight pressure and tingling like sensations all over my body.
Although there is this myth that once you are “woke”, you are supposed to be above it,
you overcome it and transcend it.
And these feelings and emotions should NEVER come back to you again, right?
isn’t that what “transcend” means? But the truth is that they DON’T EVER disappear, or stop reappearing.
That’s not what happens.
Even if you hear from those who claim to have “transcended certain negative emotions”
saying “My life has never been the same”
That’s not what they mean.
I mean, life still happens and there are forces all around us whether we like it or not.
Anyway the difference is that you just deal with them differently because you SEE them differently, IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT called a PERSPECTIVE . I made videos on that, too. ("Change your Perspective, Change Your Life.")
But then, I was still puzzled over this victim ticks… Why was I still REACTING?
THEN IT DAWNED ON ME…
That the victimhood is IN THE FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS! IT’S SOMEHOW PART OF THE HUMANNESS!
You see, we are WIRED to have emotions! Because Without them, there is no reason for us to be here. truly. You see, emotions create electromagnetic webs and all of us are connected just like our DNA molecules,
in fact, IT IS our DNA
and THE ’victim’ is IN ALL OF US. (Caroline Myss explains in the basic 4 Archetypes of Survival, the Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur based on Carl Jung's study.)
Phew… OK… so NOW What?
So we are off the hook here… right? It's not our fault!
Time for a blaming party? NO...
But then... if it's in the Field, then are we screwed?
SO listen to this
Ok? Don’t panic yet.
There is a way out of this.
This is what happened and that's how I know that there is a way out.
THIS TIME AS SOON AS I REACTED,
RIGHT? when I TICKED
I was choosing to be that way.
(Because IF I truly wanted to CONNECT with the ART community, there were numerous ways to do that. BUT I DIDN’T.
I actually WANTED to feel sorry for myself AND
that was clearly MY OWN CHOICE for as long as I did.)
BUT NOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO is the part that
I ACTUALLY REACTED
OK? YES, SO I REACTED.
AND This is something that I have been TEACHING MYSELF NOT TO DO. RIGHT?
I REALLY WANT YOU TO NOTICE THAT
ACTUALLY ACTIVATED THE
huh? say it again?
BY THE VERY ACTION
BY THAT JOLT OF ENERGY from the TICK,
I WAS ABLE TO CATCH MYSELF KNOWING
the truth that I was CHOOSING to be a victim.
WOW, this is big. It’s very big.
I thought “STOP REACTING AND START RESPONDING” was like the spiritual mantra of the year.
The spiritual teaching anthem… and REACTING IS SOO TABOO in the world of “awaken” ones YES??
BUT TODAY I clearly SEE THE BENEFIT IN REACTING… WOW
YOU SEE, YOU CAN USE THE FORCE, the ENERGY OF REACTIONS TO ACTIVATE THE TOOLS OF SELF EMPOWERMENT.
THAT’S AMAZING GUYS.
AND it’s truly a great GIFT TO know how THIS works.
I AM SO ECSTATIC TO FIND that I DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF REACTING ANY LONGER.
I’M SORRY FOR THE ONES WHO GET THE REACTION HIT BY ME IN ADVANCE!
But you get the hit for a spiritual reason, too! LOL
I FEEL SO FREE, I MEAN
COME ON BRING IT!
I ALSO WANT YOU TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN the timing on the process I went through here.
If I had forced myself to make this video half-assed just because I FELT THE NEED TO MAKE IT
in the time frame that “I decided to be my deadline” because I thought that was the acceptable amount of time for me to take to publish a video on YOUTUBE and I was getting myself so worked up about it driving my family crazy.
Because i’ve been listening to all the TUBERS preaching in the "HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL YOUTUBER" videos...
But BECAUSE I waited for the amount of time I did, I came across this discovery.
and THAT’S SYNCHRONICITY.
OH, what a gift life is… Yay!
Can you see why it’s so profound? Or do you think it’s so simple that you don’t know why someone even bothers to make a video about it? The universe communicates with us in everyday language. As Caroline Myss says “God doesn’t show off.” I know that my level of consciousness is climbing up when I take the biggest message in a moment like this one.
ANYWAY, SO I thought I was going to be making the video on how to detect your chronic victimhood by giving you examples of symptoms…
but instead, I’m gonna go on with THIS PROFOUND discovery and share with you
how to work with your REACTIONS
HOW TO TURN AROUND AND MAKE YOUR “UNWANTED” REACTIONS INTO YOUR BEST FRIENDS!
Ok, maybe not best friends but useful tools at least.
OK, so the most important thing is to NOT be AFRAID of REACTING!
(laugh)You knew I was gonna say this, right?
It sounds so silly and elementary but it is CRUCIAL.
Like I said earlier, you can relax now, OK? Do you react? GOOD! BRING IT!
AND your new mantra should be
“If I react, good. If I respond instead, good!” (laugh)
If you come out with a better one, let me know.
So just be neutral, be in the in-between state about it. IT’s ok either way.
All you have to be is aware of your reaction.
Now, You maybe thinking
“It's easier said than done. I don’t know how I can actually be AWARE when I am in the midst of it” right?
Because when you are REACTING, you are most likely immersed in some kind of powerful emotion that you may not even get a chance to be AWARE…?
WELL, FIRST that the relaxed attitude ABOUT REACTION ITSELF will aid you to be MORE AWARE
in the moment you DO REACT
BUT IN ANY CASE all you have to do is to just SURRENDER to it as it happens
without any resistance
and as you surrender,
your OTHER BUDDY intuition kicks in
and NOW you are able to see, sense, know, and understand
even if you cannot comprehend it all that clearly at once
But remember, This is NOT a test, so there is no need to “articulate” or put any of this into words.
And even if you DON’T know what your reaction means or where that came from
or your buddy intuition is snoozing and don’t think you are getting any insight out of this
Just RELAX it will appear to you WHEN YOU ARE READY.
so JUST let it be what it is,
no need to analyze, judge or label it.
JUST FEEL THE physical SENSATIONS AS THEY SURFACE
because emotions are PHYSICAL
so AKNOWLEDGE AND SURRENDER
And if you feel guided and feel necessary, you can always apologize to the persons involved for the time being, ALSO right?
And this is an exercise you can do AFTER the fact, in your own time, If you like.
You can revisit the reaction and what you felt, and ASK IT
what is ITS purpose.
AND if you get the answer, THANK IT
IF YOU DON’T GET THE ANSWER
THANK IT FOR SHOWING UP so that now you are AWARE to be AWARE.
(laugh) AWARE TO BE AWARE…
ISN’T IT FUNNY THIS WHOLE SPIRITUALITY AND BEING AWARE…
IT MAKES ME LAUGH… in a good way, of course. I love laughing.
You know this spiritual stuff is not about the fluffy clouds and spontaneous psychedelic visions, and angels whispering to you ALL THE TIME (I know, I know... I thought it was all about that all the time, too. But apparently that is called "delusional"... ah...)
MOST OF THE TIME It’s kind of,
NO, NOT KIND OF
IT’S JUST LIKE WORKING OUT IN A GYM.
IT TAKES DISCIPLINE AND YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP.
DO YOU WANNA BUILD SPIRITUAL MUSCLES?
WELL THEN YOU GOTTA USE THOSE MUSCLES.
BUT YOU SEE, the universe will give you little gifts of confirmations here and there.
You start to catch more and more synchronicities
You start to see how EVERYTHING in life is symbolic and reflecting each other
You will start to see these numbers EVERYWHERE 1111, 1212, 222, 333, 444, 555, SO MUCH AND SO OFTEN that you might think something is wrong!
BUT YOU HAVE TO build those muscles.
WELL, CAN WORK OUT BE FUN? AH YAH
IT CAN BE ENORMOUSLY FUN.
plus you get supernaturally gorgeous and irresistible in the process so
yah, its fun.
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