REACTIVITY IS NOT A TABOO IN AWAKENING PROCESS. IT’S A GIFT

JUNE-I B
Jan 22, 2020
7 min read

Updated: Jan 26, 2020

As I kept on meditating on this topic of chronic victimhood

these past weeks, I started to notice how OFTEN I actually have moments that I feel like a victim.

"Can you see why it’s so profound? Or do you think it’s so simple that you don’t know why someone even bothers to make a video about it? The universe communicates with us in everyday language. As Caroline Myss says “God doesn’t show off.” I know that my level of consciousness is climbing up when I take the biggest message in a moment like this one."

As I kept on meditating on this topic of chronic victimhood

these past weeks, I started to notice how OFTEN I actually have moments that I feel

"sorry" for myself, like a victim.

Actually it wasn’t even a “feeling” sorry or the familiar inner voice

It was literally like a tick. Like a nano-second buzz in super speed electricity.

And I realized that I was experiencing it much much more often than I had previously realized.

One day, I caught myself that I was unable to be GENEROUS enough for others BECAUSE I felt the tick. And he more I started to pay attention, the more I was truly shocked by the frequency of those victim TICKS

For instance the other day, my husband, he is a surfer,

he said

"I’m planning a weekend trip to this surf film event and said “i’m craving some surf culture”

My immediate response was,

wait, right

I DID NOT RESPOND.

I REACTED. Because it was the same TICK again, the victim tick.

And so instead of genuinely feeling excited for him and wondering what a great time he would have,

my REACTION was

“Oh yah? I know how that feels. because I’ve been craving ART culture myself for a decade.”

REALLY?

I thought I was above this, guys. I thought those days were OVER.

Yah… yes yes I did.

I mean, I worked on this stuff, right?

I even made a video about "time traveling" to work on my own “traumatic experiences of victimhood”, and getting rid of my chronic pains associated with them.

But interestingly, as I focused on this topic of victimhood for a YouTube video I was making, It was as if everything suddenly came back.

I kept catching myself with those ticks. I heard the “poor ME” voice over occasionally accompanied by contracting and shrinking uncomfortable tightness in jaws and slight pressure and tingling like sensations all over my body.

Although there is this myth that once you are “woke”, you are supposed to be above it,

you overcome it and transcend it.

And these feelings and emotions should NEVER come back to you again, right?

isn’t that what “transcend” means? But the truth is that they DON’T EVER disappear, or stop reappearing.

That’s not what happens.

Even if you hear from those who claim to have “transcended certain negative emotions”

saying “My life has never been the same”

That’s not what they mean.

I mean, life still happens and there are forces all around us whether we like it or not.

Anyway the difference is that you just deal with them differently because you SEE them differently, IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT called a PERSPECTIVE . I made videos on that, too. ("Change your Perspective, Change Your Life.")

But then, I was still puzzled over this victim ticks… Why was I still REACTING?

THEN IT DAWNED ON ME…

That the victimhood is IN THE FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS! IT’S SOMEHOW PART OF THE HUMANNESS!

You see, we are WIRED to have emotions! Because Without them, there is no reason for us to be here. truly. You see, emotions create electromagnetic webs and all of us are connected just like our DNA molecules,

in fact, IT IS our DNA

and THE ’victim’ is IN ALL OF US. (Caroline Myss explains in the basic 4 Archetypes of Survival, the Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur based on Carl Jung's study.)

Phew… OK… so NOW What?

So we are off the hook here… right? It's not our fault!

Time for a blaming party? NO...

But then... if it's in the Field, then are we screwed?

SO listen to this

Ok? Don’t panic yet.

There is a way out of this.

This is what happened and that's how I know that there is a way out.

THIS TIME AS SOON AS I REACTED,

RIGHT? when I TICKED

I ALSO

CAUGHT MYSELF

KNOWING

THAT

I was choosing to be that way.

(Because IF I truly wanted to CONNECT with the ART community, there were numerous ways to do that. BUT I DIDN’T.

I actually WANTED to feel sorry for myself AND

that was clearly MY OWN CHOICE for as long as I did.)

BUT NOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO is the part that

I ACTUALLY REACTED

OK? YES, SO I REACTED.

AND This is something that I have been TEACHING MYSELF NOT TO DO. RIGHT?

BUT

I REALLY WANT YOU TO NOTICE THAT

THAT

THE REACTION

IS WAHT

ACTUALLY ACTIVATED THE

KNOWING

huh? say it again?

BY REACTING

BY THE VERY ACTION

BY THAT JOLT OF ENERGY from the TICK,

I WAS ABLE TO CATCH MYSELF KNOWING

the truth that I was CHOOSING to be a victim.

WOW, this is big. It’s very big.

I thought “STOP REACTING AND START RESPONDING” was like the spiritual mantra of the year.

The spiritual teaching anthem… and REACTING IS SOO TABOO in the world of “awaken” ones YES??

BUT TODAY I clearly SEE THE BENEFIT IN REACTING… WOW

YOU SEE, YOU CAN USE THE FORCE, the ENERGY OF REACTIONS TO ACTIVATE THE TOOLS OF SELF EMPOWERMENT.

THAT’S AMAZING GUYS.

AND it’s truly a great GIFT TO know how THIS works.

I AM SO ECSTATIC TO FIND that I DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF REACTING ANY LONGER.

I’M SORRY FOR THE ONES WHO GET THE REACTION HIT BY ME IN ADVANCE!

But you get the hit for a spiritual reason, too! LOL

I FEEL SO FREE, I MEAN

COME ON BRING IT!

I ALSO WANT YOU TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN the timing on the process I went through here.

If I had forced myself to make this video half-assed just because I FELT THE NEED TO MAKE IT

in the time frame that “I decided to be my deadline” because I thought that was the acceptable amount of time for me to take to publish a video on YOUTUBE and I was getting myself so worked up about it driving my family crazy.

Because i’ve been listening to all the TUBERS preaching in the "HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL YOUTUBER" videos...

But BECAUSE I waited for the amount of time I did, I came across this discovery.

and THAT’S SYNCHRONICITY.

OH, what a gift life is… Yay!

Can you see why it’s so profound? Or do you think it’s so simple that you don’t know why someone even bothers to make a video about it? The universe communicates with us in everyday language. As Caroline Myss says “God doesn’t show off.” I know that my level of consciousness is climbing up when I take the biggest message in a moment like this one.

ANYWAY, SO I thought I was going to be making the video on how to detect your chronic victimhood by giving you examples of symptoms…

but instead, I’m gonna go on with THIS PROFOUND discovery and share with you

how to work with your REACTIONS

HOW TO TURN AROUND AND MAKE YOUR “UNWANTED” REACTIONS INTO YOUR BEST FRIENDS!

Ok, maybe not best friends but useful tools at least.

OK, so the most important thing is to NOT be AFRAID of REACTING!

(laugh)You knew I was gonna say this, right?

It sounds so silly and elementary but it is CRUCIAL.

Like I said earlier, you can relax now, OK? Do you react? GOOD! BRING IT!

AND your new mantra should be

“If I react, good. If I respond instead, good!” (laugh)

If you come out with a better one, let me know.

So just be neutral, be in the in-between state about it. IT’s ok either way.

All you have to be is aware of your reaction.

Now, You maybe thinking

“It's easier said than done. I don’t know how I can actually be AWARE when I am in the midst of it” right?

Because when you are REACTING, you are most likely immersed in some kind of powerful emotion that you may not even get a chance to be AWARE…?

WELL, FIRST that the relaxed attitude ABOUT REACTION ITSELF will aid you to be MORE AWARE

in the moment you DO REACT

BUT IN ANY CASE all you have to do is to just SURRENDER to it as it happens

without any resistance

and as you surrender,

your OTHER BUDDY intuition kicks in

and NOW you are able to see, sense, know, and understand

even if you cannot comprehend it all that clearly at once

But remember, This is NOT a test, so there is no need to “articulate” or put any of this into words.

And even if you DON’T know what your reaction means or where that came from

or your buddy intuition is snoozing and don’t think you are getting any insight out of this

Just RELAX it will appear to you WHEN YOU ARE READY.

so JUST let it be what it is,

no need to analyze, judge or label it.

JUST FEEL THE physical SENSATIONS AS THEY SURFACE

because emotions are PHYSICAL

so AKNOWLEDGE AND SURRENDER

And if you feel guided and feel necessary, you can always apologize to the persons involved for the time being, ALSO right?

And this is an exercise you can do AFTER the fact, in your own time, If you like.

You can revisit the reaction and what you felt, and ASK IT

what is ITS purpose.

AND if you get the answer, THANK IT

IF YOU DON’T GET THE ANSWER

THANK IT FOR SHOWING UP so that now you are AWARE to be AWARE.

(laugh) AWARE TO BE AWARE…

ISN’T IT FUNNY THIS WHOLE SPIRITUALITY AND BEING AWARE…

IT MAKES ME LAUGH… in a good way, of course. I love laughing.

You know this spiritual stuff is not about the fluffy clouds and spontaneous psychedelic visions, and angels whispering to you ALL THE TIME (I know, I know... I thought it was all about that all the time, too. But apparently that is called "delusional"... ah...)

MOST OF THE TIME It’s kind of,

NO, NOT KIND OF

IT’S JUST LIKE WORKING OUT IN A GYM.

IT TAKES DISCIPLINE AND YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP.

DO YOU WANNA BUILD SPIRITUAL MUSCLES?

WELL THEN YOU GOTTA USE THOSE MUSCLES.

BUT YOU SEE, the universe will give you little gifts of confirmations here and there.

You start to catch more and more synchronicities

You start to see how EVERYTHING in life is symbolic and reflecting each other

You will start to see these numbers EVERYWHERE 1111, 1212, 222, 333, 444, 555, SO MUCH AND SO OFTEN that you might think something is wrong!

BUT YOU HAVE TO build those muscles.

WELL, CAN WORK OUT BE FUN? AH YAH